This post is an extract from The Retro Machine (Vol 6) posted by Spencer over at RetroJunk.

No, this is not a piece about the PC game, this is a piece on the fantastic PBS game show that aired in the early 90′s. The cheesy clue sketches, comedic interactions between Greg and The Chief, the memorable melodies of Rockapella, and the colorful cast of Carmen’s crooks, all added up to one of the finest educational game shows to ever air on public television. Seriously, if you missed this show as a kid, you truly missed out.

Lynne Thigpen (The Chief), who sadly passed away in 2003, was the true anchor of the show. She had this authoritative air about her that retained the humor of the show, but at the same time instilled this sense of urgency that compelled you to watch in hopes that Carmen would get caught.

The show captured the spirit of the game, keeping close to the detective theme (words like “gumshoe” come to mind) all throughout. The prizes they gave away were always funny. The third place contestant would walk away with a Carmen T-shirt while the second place contestant would get something like a world band radio. The grand prize was always a trip to anywhere in the lower 48 states, but to get that you had to find seven places on a continent in 45 seconds. It wasn’t easy, and many kids failed to catch Carmen. The ones who did had to have an absolutely flawless run.

Without a doubt, the one thing that to this day remains as the shows legacy was it’s quirky theme song. I can’t think of any other way to end this than to show the amazing a capella theme song…

90

Below is the list of the top ten movies from the 90′s based on gross inflation-adjusted revenue.

• The billion dollar blockbuster Titanic was shown for a near-month in my uno-screen hometown theater.
• JTT was the voice of courageous but innocent Simba in Lion King that won the approval of millions of parents to have their teenage daughter plaster his picture all over their walls.
• Home Alone was the only time I saw that same theater actually have a line into the street and gave children everywhere ideas for booby-traps.
• Forrest Gump will someday win Tom Hanks a spot in the government based on his performance.

Jurassic Park & Star Wars were able to edge in with revenue from toys and partnerships with all the McD’s of the World. You’ll also notice that Will Smith had himself a payday with I-Day and MIB - probably to fund Jada’s heavy metal band, Wicked Wisdom (I wish this was a joke, too). Mrs. Doubtfire was the first movie that taught all the kids that the divorce they brought on to their parents can turn out okay.

The other thing to note is that people either used to watch a LOT more movies before the 90′s or they are getting crappier. If you take a look at the overall list you can see that most of the top half of the list contains pre-1980′s releases. It’s only getting worse, too…the top release from this decade is The Dark Knight coming in at 27th overall.

Check the comments for my own list (what I choose now) & let’s hear what yours would include (either now or then). This is a great site that has a fairly exhaustive list with trailers if you want something that will help jog your memory.

This post is an extract from The Retro Machine (Vol 15) posted by Spencer over at RetroJunk.

Everyone had a variation of these rocking toys. They were usually situated on metal springs and you could do a whole lot of rocking and bouncing on them. I never had anything as cool as that Cringer model though! There was always one very large problem with these toys:

THEY ALWAYS PINCHED THE CRAP OUTTA YOUR LEGS. Not just little pinches either, more like “oh my god, did someone just stick a 1/2″ thick needle into my leg?” kinds of pinches. This always happened when you were rocking and the motion would stretch the springs out long enough for you to put your leg near it just in time to be pinched. Even today it sends shivers up my spine to think about this.

This post is an extract from The Retro Machine (Vol 4) posted by Spencer over at RetroJunk.

TGIF posts will be a weekly guest spot that will initially feature Spencer’s writing. If you’re interested in writing a guest post for STWC, please get in contact with us: stwc@stuffthatwascool.com

Remember when it was Friday night and the mood was right? Now, I do realize that TGIF continued until pretty recently, but let’s face it, we never had more fun or were shown how it was done like the TGIF of the late 80′s to mid 90′s. Family Matters, Full House, Step by Step, and Perfect Strangers were always your best reasons for tuning in from 8 to 10pm, but round about 1996, Family Matters was all that was left that was worth watching (Ok…Boy Meets World wasn’t all that bad, but it paled in comparison to the glory days).

As it entered 2000, TGIF became more of a dumping ground for crap sitcoms than a primetime megablock of quality television. But at least we have our memories of a once great empire. I remember back in the day when it was fall season, TGIF would do a “Saturday Morning Preview” of new cartoons that would air the next morning. It was a huge event to be able to see the brand new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon on a Friday night.

I miss my old familiar friends waiting just around the bend and wonder whatever happened to predictability. But luckily these days, on occasion, we might catch an old episode of Full House on ABC Family.

This clip of the intro might help take you back to the days before TBS pushed out the laugh-hindering “House of Payne”:

[See post to watch Flash video] ]]> http://www.stuffthatwascool.com/2009/02/tgif-hangin-with-mr-cooper-crew/feed/ 2 Thank Goodness It’s Friday! http://www.stuffthatwascool.com/2009/02/dance-dance-revolutionjump-on-it/ http://www.stuffthatwascool.com/2009/02/dance-dance-revolutionjump-on-it/#comments Wed, 18 Feb 2009 22:24:11 +0000 Paul Arterburn http://www.stuffthatwascool.com/?p=528

This is a guest post by Breezer. Interested in having a guest post published on the site? Get in contact with us: stwc@stuffthatwascool.com

The revolution known as The Jump On It Dance was a hip thrusting craze that swept the nation from Bel Air to Philly. When the Fresh Prince and his whitewashed cousin Carlton busted their sweet moves on stage, we all knew, no junior high dance would ever be the same. You remember the moment, awkwardly shuffling your feet to the latest Boyz II Men ballad, you’re probably considering this the best possible moment for butt grope-age.

the class clown is always stag

Alas, your plans to finally reach first base are thwarted as the infamous class clown makes his way to the DJ booth. He’s fashioned his neck tie around his forehead in a MacGyver-type farce and as he leans over and shouts, the too-old-to-be-doing-this-for-a-real-job DJ is laughing knowingly while he cuts the music. Having jumped atop the nearest speaker, our beloved clown throws his arms in the air, victorious, as the first few beats of Sir-Mix-A-Lot cause the greatest middle school frenzy known to man.

With the kind of flawless skill that only comes from practicing it over and over in the bathroom mirror, he ignites chaos, the gymnasium erupts and all in attendance chant “JUMP ON IT!” You are happy in your awareness that this is the only time it is appropriate to gyrate awkwardly, turn 180 degrees and repeat, for a full five minutes; or at least the only time a date will consider you cool for doing so. Fear not babies of the eighties, you have plenty of weddings to look forward to, where the drunken Jump On It dance lives on in infamy.

The song is “Jump On It” by Sir-Mix-A-Lot (just in case you need to request it to the DJ), a remix from a 70′s song “Apache” by Tommy Seebach…which I would argue has WAY better dancing than the Jump On It dance.

Saturday Night Live used to be cool. Heck, it even used to funny. Now-a-days the only laughable creations that come out are a few cameo appearances from J. Timbs featuring the only talent on the show, Andy Samberg. I’m going to take you back to the days when Kevin Nealon gave us the fake news via Weekend Update and not some giggling schoolgirl like Jimmy Fallon.

“If the election were held today, most people say they would be really confused because it’s usually held in November” -Kevin Nealon, Weekend Update

Let’s go ahead and just list some of the still-quoted clips that SNL used to have…I’ll throw another jab at NBC for making the compiling of this list extremely difficult by pulling down nearly all great SNL clips from Youtube and the other tubes. Did they have to make room for “Howie Do It’ episodes or what?

• More Cowbell
• To Bill Brasky (who has a blog dedicated to him)
• Da Bears
• Turd Ferguson
• In a van down by the river
• Harry Caray –> “If you were a hotdog, and you were starving…would you eat yourself?”

Back to my point…where Will Ferrell already has 2, you’ll never see “The Best of Keenan Thompson” out in the DVD free-for-all bin at Wal-mart. Let’s take a little test:

Keenan Thompson is to dressing like a woman as

a. Jimmy Fallon is to giggling like a school girl
b. The current cast leaving early is to launching a shitty movie career
c. Darrell Hammond is to my grandpa
d. All of the above

I know I left some of the great clips out. Let’s hear about them in the comments. Have a case for the past 3 years of crap? We’ll listen to that, too…that is if it makes through the SPAM filter.

Good thing Kurt Cobain did a terrible job at writing pop songs (and trying to copy The Pixies). The Aberdeen, WA based trio started a music revolution with this anthem release from 1991.

Speaking from an awful personal experience in front of the entire student body in high school, I can tell you the song is made up of just 4 simple power chords…but that doesn’t mean you should try covering it. Cobain’s voice is not quite as easy to duplicate. But that doesn’t really matter anymore anyways…we have Activision to thank for ruining what was once a plethora of kids growing up wanting to be rock stars to now couch potatoes. I’m sure the King of Grunge is turning in his grave.

Fun fact: a mulatto (from the chorus) is a person with one black parent and one white parent, but in America we just call them African American (like our newly elected President). I bet if Obama was the President of Kenya he would be the first white guy to be elected.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPQR-OsH0RQ

Load up on guns and bring your friends
It’s fun to lose and to pretend
She’s over-bored and self-assured
Oh no, I know a dirty word

Hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, hello

With the lights out, it’s less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us

A mulatto, an albino
A mosquito, my libido
Yeah, hey, yay

I’m worse at what I do best
And for this gift I feel blessed
Our little group has always been
And always will until the end

Hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, hello

With the lights out, it’s less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us

A mulatto, an albino
A mosquito, my libido
Yeah, hey, yay

And I forget just why I taste
Oh yeah, I guess it makes me smile
I found it hard, it’s hard to find
Oh well, whatever, nevermind

Hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, hello

With the lights out, it’s less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us

A mulatto, an albino
A mosquito, my libido

A denial, a denial
A denial, a denial
A denial, a denial
A denial, a denial
A denial

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